Well, yesterday was the first day of school for Malia. She's a teenager now in her last year of junior high school. I can't even let myself begin to imagine sending her off to high school next year. The mere thought sends me into a tear filled panic! Yesterday I drove her to school and as we sat in the car drinking Starbucks, I found myself recalling that very 1st day of kindergarten and fighting back the tears as I walked her down the hall to her classroom. On that very first day as I stumbled back to the car the tears flowed freely and I could not grasp just how quickly my little girl had grown up... she was in school! Much to my dismay, yesterday felt just the same as that very 1st day 8 years ago. I found the tears flowing while I looked at my baby, looking so grown up, ready to start her day. I yearned for the hand holding, kissing mommy good bye little girl, but was so proud of the young lady sitting across from me in the car. She is smart, she is beautiful, thoughtful and has a quick wit and sense of humor that I'm in awe of. God has blessed me with this wonderful girl. (Side note: I'm crying so much right now I can't really even see the computer screen.)
As Malia started her day I returned home to an empty and oh so quiet house. So I picked up the phone without even thinking and prepared to call my Mom. Yes, my Mom. It has been 2 years since God called her to heaven and I still pick up the phone to call her. The moment the phone touched my ear I realized what I was doing. So, I put down the phone and cried some more. Then I proceeded to tell Mom all about Malia, what she was wearing, how excited she was, how pretty she looked and how much she could not wait to go inside to see all of her friends. Oh, she would be so excited to hear all about it and would probably cry with me! Then it hit me, I'm all grown up but I'm still Mommy's little girl and Malia will always be mine.
I wish my Mom could be here to see her grand daughter. To see the young lady she is becoming. To give me advice on how to navigate the teenage years. To be there on the other end of the phone, if only to listen to me cry. As I parent Malia, I often hear my Mom's voice from within, and I know that I'm becoming much like the woman she was, the kind of Mom she was to me and my sister. And I'm proud to be her little girl.
And just for fun here are some pictures of Malia. That sweet baby from her 1st year in kindergarten and now as a sweet young lady in junior high.
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| Kindergarten year at Southside Christian School. Enjoying an afternoon snack. |
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| Malia with her Grammy the night of her Kindergarten Graduation. |
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| In the car 8/22/11 waiting to enter the 8th grade halls of junior high school! |
